Dear Lovely Mia,
A year ago you became critically ill with sepsis. The nurses and doctors told us months later that they didn’t think you were going to survive when you came in. A year later, you have been through so much and you have come so far. You amaze us every day with your achievements and your spark for life. You inspire us and everyone who meets you! We still wish so much that we could go back but you have shown us that you will not be held back by this. We are all here for you every step of the way. You are never alone. Many people far and wide have you in their hearts and thoughts. They might not be with us physically during the day but we take their kindness with us every day to give us strength when we feel not strong enough.
The emotions we have felt this year have been down to such heartbreaking depths of despair and helplessness, but there have also been so many heart-swelling highs as you show us your determination and love of living. There is never a day that goes by that we don’t hear your lovely giggle. You tell us everyday that you love us. Every day we enjoy your cuddles and your love.
I remember so many truly horrible moments over this year. The night of 15th October 2017 when your heart stopped and we almost lost you. Screaming to Peter that we were losing you. Watching you helplessly hooked up to so many machines and medicines hoping you would survive. Telling you that you would lose your hands and feet. Watching you try to lift your head off the pillow but you had no strength. Cuddling you all night, buzzing in the nurses, trying to get your pain to a bearable level. Back in nappies and it taking 3 people to delicately change you. Often cleaning up your vomit in the hospital bed in the middle of the night. Taking you into surgery about 20 times and watching you put under broke my heart so much. Your arm surgery day on 10th November and leg surgery day on 3rd January. Watching you attempt to open Christmas presents without hands. Being fed through a nasal gastric tube, wondering how you will ever eat again? Collecting your ashes from the funeral home on 9th February was excruciating but I also couldn’t bear just throwing a part of you away.
Thankfully as time has gone on and you have regained strength and health, we have had so many wonderful, uplifting moments. You being woken up after 6 days on life support. Going outside again on 7th November. Many thoughtful and lovely gifts filling your hospital room. No longer needing an IV pole and going to Southbank on 22nd November. The funny and entertaining clown doctors, Starlight crew, volunteers and music therapists filling our challenging hospital days with laughter. Seeing your energy gradually return. Coming home again. Being discharged on 19th December after 9 weeks in hospital. Celebrating your 5th Birthday. Starting school this year and gradually building up to full days. 11th February, your nasal gastric tube was removed. You stopped taking pain medications on 18th April. Watching you learn new ways to clean your teeth, write and eat with your arms. You have adapted so quickly. Being able to bath again after 9 months and getting wet at the beach. Watching your pure enjoyment in the swimming pool fills me with so much pride and joy. You must feel such wonderful freedom to move again. The day you received your legs on 27th July was a great day. Seeing you walk into school on 31st July brought so many people to tears! Your classmates were super excited! All of the kindness, love, thoughts, gifts, donations, fundraising and support we have received has given us the strength we have needed to keep going so that we can care for you, Ellie and Max. Hopefully more and more of these fabulous times will fill our minds and the traumatic memories will fade.
We love you so so much Mia. We love Ellie and Max so so much. We are so grateful for our beautiful family. Let’s not dwell on what we don’t have. Let’s keep moving forwards to an amazing future full of happiness, life, love and great achievements.